I’ve had this question asked of me a few dozen times in the last few days, so I thought I’d post on our answer. The answer is… we don’t know yet. Probably 2, but maybe 1. If the embryologist and RE make a compelling argument for putting back one superstar, we may be tempted.
I wrote about this a few days ago here. Here are the relevant parts:
“The embryologist suggested we wait to decide how many eggs to transfer (either 1 or 2) after we see how they’re growing because they’ll know more about quality then. Basically if the whole cohort of embies are superstars (A+ quality), she might suggest doing one b/c they’re all likely to do well. If there’s just one that looks good (A+) and the rest are ok (B or A), they might suggest doing 2 b/c the cohort having issues might mean we’ll have better chances with 2. Really, the whole IVF process is a bit of a gamble and you’re always playing the odds. ”
So that still stands. We won’t decide until the day of transfer. If there are a lot of great embies that are likely to survive a freeze and thaw, a frozen embryo transfer (FET) would cost the same as daycare for an infant for about 5 months. Though we DO NOT want to go through this again, a FET is less complicated than a fresh IVF cycle, and about a quarter the price. It has lower success rates than fresh cycles, though, and even good embies don’t always survive a freeze and thaw.
Our clinic has roughly a 76% pregnancy rate for IVF in my age group (these numbers are off the top of my head, so I may be a point or two off.) Of those, about 38% have twins. The vast majority of those are transferring 2 embies, but the numbers aren’t broken down between 3 and 5 day transfers or quality of embies. It does mean, though, that when you put back 2, in most cases, at least one of them doesn’t make it.
Obviously we would rather have twins than no babies, but twins scare the hell out of me. If it were my first baby, I’d just do it. I wouldn’t know any different.
However, having had a pretty bad sleeper (he was up every 2-3 hours regularly until about 20 months, despite having read almost every book on the market looking for help), I can’t imagine trying to juggle the sleep needs of two. I also worry about being able to nurse two at a time. I had plenty of milk for one, but 2 is a more complicated matter, especially if I’ll be pumping at work. I’m not adverse to supplementing, but it seems to lead to a slippery slope of supply problems and cause tummy issues.
I also worry about the impact twins would have on Owen. Having one baby is going to rock his world, let alone having to divide my attention even further.
Twin pregnancies scare me too. Just that much more complicated, that much more risky for pre-term delivery, complications, etc. I had one baby in the NICU for 3 days and it was the most traumatic thing I’ve ever done. I can’t imagine the stress of an extended NICU stay in combination with taking care of Owen.
Twins even mean a higher risk that my dreaded PUPPS rash would come back.
Fair warning… I’m about to post the reason why I was scared to get PG for a good 2 years (combined with lack of sleep) after Owen. I had a terrible rash from head to toe for the last month of my first pg and 4 months after he was born. If you’re easily scarred by scary skin, close your eyes. (I’m going to close mine. It still scares me.)
So, that’s the story. We don’t know. We’ll keep you posted.
If any IVFers have any input on the decision (or how you reached your decision), I’d love to hear it. I seem to be splitting the ranks when I ask on infertility chat boards.
Seeking a Sibling 