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Archive for February 18th, 2011

12 lbs of baby in my belly

The babies are looking good, though actually measuring a little smaller than I’d like (5.5 and 6.5lbs). They used to be really close in size and they’re both dropping percentiles kind of quickly. About 3 weeks ago Baby A was in the 51st%tile and B in the 31st. Now Baby A is in the 35th%tile and B is only in the 9th. This concerns me partially because of O, whose giant head and long legs made them overestimate his size on late term ultrasounds (by about 2 lbs. My “giant baby” was a totally average 7lbs6oz with an enormous head and LONG chicken legs). These babies are similarly proportioned, so I’m worried that those measurements are off in a bad way.

The MFM seemed entirely unconcerned (I guess. He never even comes in to my appointments. I just get messages from the nurses). They are upping the non-stress tests to 2x a week. I’m still concerned about the drop in percentiles. The nurse at the MFMs says it sometimes happens at the end with twins because they run out of room. My belly is measuring 45 weeks.

Here’s what 12lbs of babies look like (36w5d):
36w5d

My c-section scheduled for March 1st. I’m REALLY dreading more surgery. Like a lot. I was put under 5x in the course of 13 months (~2009), and I just don’t want the pain or to associate that with the birth of my kids. (If you’re keeping count, that’s 2 laps for endometriosis, sinus surgery, a colonoscopy and an egg retrieval for IVF. Really only the first 3 hurt like mo-fos)

While the pain of childbirth doesn’t phase me, the surgical pain is freaking me out a bit. Like I can’t think about it without crying. I had really bad pain with my last lap, and I guess that kind of referred shoulder pain isn’t uncommon with a c-section. I just can’t picture taking care of two babies, getting them to nurse, honestly even being aware of their existence when in that much pain. I actually have a pretty high threshold for pain (endometriosis tends to breed that), but the pain should be bad BEFORE the babies are born and then get better. This time it will be backwards. I thought I had come to terms with it, but a breakdown in the midwife’s office today would indicate otherwise…Pretty much talking about it makes me cry, so I guess any sense of calm I had gained by doing the birth plan is shot to hell as it gets closer. It doesn’t help that midwife A’s assurance that most of what I requested is feasible is probably not. Midwife B, who I love for being a straight shooter said a lot of it’s probably not going to happen. Makes me wonder why I even bothered to write the damn thing.

I also am feeling like a passive patient in the birth of my babies, which is really hard for me to deal with. I wasn’t in the room when they were conceived, and I feel like I’m going to be the least active participant in the room when they’re born.

TMI below:

I was supposed to come home and call a home health care company about coming out and teaching me to catheterize myself since I’ve been having major issues peeing. Instead the woman who watches O on Friday’s son got sick and I came and got him, met B for coffee/cocoa as planned and was completely wiped when I got home and HAD to nap. Like immediately. Didn’t even have lunch despite being famished (which may have something to do with why I lost a pound this week. Oops.) Fortunately O napped with me. I woke up too late to call home health before the weekend, which I guess doesn’t matter because I’m pretty sure they weren’t going to come help me on a Friday afternoon anyway. FML. I hope I have a few good days of peeing before Monday rolls around…It’s not always terrible, but when it’s bad it’s AWFUL.

I can’t believe I’m 10 days from the birth of these long awaited babies, and feeling like this…

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