This whole twin pregnancy thing is really making me miss my midwives. With all of these OB and Maternal Fetal Medicine practices (generally 8-10 doctors), I get whatever doctor is on call when I deliver, which could be someone I’ve never met before. At least with the midwives I met and knew all 3 of them. It doesn’t make me feel very comfortable going into a twin vaginal delivery with a stranger, when I assume things are a bit more tense than normal.
I know that being able to deliver vaginally rests on proper presentation, etc, and maybe I’d end up with a c-section anyway, but I hate the idea of delivering with a stranger. I think I inherently don’t trust the American system of birth and delivery. I’m afraid of doctors doing things like slamming me with pictocin or giving me a giant episiotomy because they’re just in a hurry to get home.
All I ever wanted (with O too, which also didn’t work out because of complications), was a nice “normal” (in my mind) water birth. I don’t want to deliver in an OR juiced up on drugs. I already get the feeling that I’m going to have to fight tooth and nail to be able to deliver these babies vaginally, let alone with out an epidural.
My Mom is really into the idea that in each lifetime (she’s a Buddhist and believes in reincarnation) we have a lesson to learn.
I think my lesson in this life is going to be letting go of my dreams and learning to deal with reality. That’s what this whole IF journey has been about so far.
I hear ya. I totally agree with your view on the way this country treats childbirth. I won’t be able to deliver my next baby (whenever that happens) with my midwives because they are not on the Kaiser network. Kaiser’s midwives don’t even deliver babies. My “compromise” is that I will have a doula at my next delivery, so at least someone professional there will be there for me.
I actually switched off of Kaiser (we’re lucky to have the option of both by putting me on my husband’s insurance, which just sucks in other ways) when I was PG with O so I could deliver with midwives. I am SOOOO against the Kaiser model of delivery! Especially with a July due date, I didn’t want a brand new resident playing doctor who had never seen a birth (new doctors start rotations July 1st.) You see one OB for PG and get whoever for delivery. I’ve also heard some sketchy things about their “rules” about how long you’re allowed to push, etc.
I think a doula sounds like a really nice compromise. I figure your real dream is to have these babies and however they arrive will turn out to be okay.
Did you check out the doctor with the initials JA that I sent you? I think that there were only two OB’s in that practice (the main and the partner), at least when my client was there.
Everything in the American system of birth is about compromise. I wish it were not. I would be happy to give birth in a hospital (I’m not an idiot and I don’t mind having emergency backup) if only they would respect my wishes and not just follow protocol. So I got the birth that I wanted, but I had to pay totally out of pocket for it… I know it’s not as expensive as IVF but we are definitely still paying it off.
I think they will fight you about the epidural on the chance that they would have to do a version for the second twin if he/she were breech after the first came out – they don’t want to do that unmedicated. I would read up on the statistics if I were you. I am not sure how many are breech after the first comes out. Or, if it would be possible to just have a giant IV dose of something fast-acting rather than having to have the epidural.
Also, sorry this is so long, but “giving me a giant episiotomy because they’re just in a hurry to get home” – that was my first birth. And that is 100% why I paid out of pocket to have the second one at the birth center. So I feel your pain!
FWIW when I had Ethan 4 weeks early I ended up with 1 of the 2 OB’s I hadent met yet. He was great! Old guy who remembered the old days when women had natural births. He was exactly what I needed. I totally understand how you feel.
I’m sorry Cathy. 😦 I know how important your birth experience is to you, but don’t give up hope! Like Felicia said – do your research and get a doula! I would volunteer, but I was trying to find someone to volunteer to give birth for *me* when I had Nolan.
Aw, Angelika, I was really looking forward to one of your terribly appropriate birthing outfits!
Well, for you – I would at least show up for the labor portion in my naughty nurse outfit. The whole birth “experience” is not for me though – just knock me out and wake me up once you’ve fished the baby out! That’s officially called “The Angelika Method” of childbirth.
I know there’s going to be a lot to it regardless, but have you called MMC to see if they have recs? They know a lot of folks in the community.
Yup, MMC gave me two names. One only works out of PSL, which I can’t make it to without having a sub for every appointment, so that’s out. The other is one of the two left in the running.