Not feeling it today

I’m 4dp5dFEt and just not feeling PG. I’m trying to imagine how I’d deal with a BFN this time. I really think this is the end of the road for us. We have 5 great blasts left on ice but I just can’t see spending more money to put them back when clearly nothing is [...]

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Today felt SO different

Last year when I went in to my ET, I felt so CONFIDENT. So sure that it had to work because we were, after all, putting back a really awesome looking blast, and everything had just worked so well. When the IVF failed, I was shocked and in utter disbelief. How could you go through [...]

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Eggs in our last basket

This is it! The last shot! Two of these are going back (we’ll have new defrosted pictures after today.) I feel like I’m going to puke… hopefully not on the doc. I am glad that Dr S is on duty this morning. He is generally pretty comforting. I was up half the night, probably partially [...]

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I should know better…

than to curse myself by saying how well the PIO shots went last time. I got my first one this morning and it hurt like a mofo, plus I’ve had a knot in my butt all day that feels like I got punched with some iron knuckles. I take it all back. I have no [...]

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Just realized

Tomorrow starts a week of two shots a day (my I touch corrected that to two shits a day, ha!) I go in for a linig check tomorrow morning. If everything looks all thick and Oreo like (they look for a triple layer pattern, like an Oreo), I’ll get a “trigger” shot. This is usually [...]

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First street drug

Well, it was a Rx drug, but I took it on the street. Well, the car was on the street anyway One of the stranger situations I’ve found myself in while doing fertility drugs is having to get shots in weird places. Weird places on my body, yes (3 inch needle in your ass is [...]

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Trying not to let myself go there…

Before our IVF cycle, I thought a lot about what it would be like to have twins, which room I’d use for a new baby, whether we’d be able to fit 3 carseats in our car, etc etc etc. I’m trying not to go there this time. The more hope I feel, the more confident [...]

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May 6th is coming….

That would have been my due date if my IVF had worked. Makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. I probably wouldn’t remember, except that 5 friends and a co-worker are all due between now and then. 2 babies here already (one at 1:55 this morning. I just saw her at work yesterday [...]

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So fun taking a depressant

Ugh. So for the last year and a half or so I’ve been pretty depressed. I don’t know if it was just the fertility drugs (which can have that side-effect), or the fact of the infertility itself. Either way, it has not been fun. When I stopped taking the fertility drugs (I was, at the [...]

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One last time…

I went in for my post-op appointment on Friday and also found out some information about my upcoming FET cycle. In bad news, my endo had moved from stage 1-2 to stage 3. Blech. He said there wasn’t a ton of endometriosis on my left ovary, but there was a lot of scarring and adhesions [...]

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